Vacation, Vacation, Vacation

OK, I’m a little excited. Historically we have tried to do a warm vacation each winter, but last year it just didn’t happen. Our last beach vacation was two years ago at a Beaches in Turks and Caicos. That was very nice, but it’s been too long.

And our timing is great It’s been really cold (OK Chicago folks, I know it’s been much colder there) so I’m dying for some warm weather. Though our timing is scary in one sense. There’s a big storm coming the night before we leave. I’m hoping we don’t get stuck in the airport waiting for our plane to take off.

We didn’t get to plan much, so we just went on some friends recommendations. We’ll be at the Ritz in Jamaica. My wife has never wanted to go to Jamaica. And I can understand this feeling. Back in my previous life I worked on cruise ships and we often stopped in Ocho Rios. There were two things I liked to do in Ocho Rios. Either I’d see if I could get on the snorkeling excursion (cruise ship staff could go on the official excursions for free if there was an open spot) or I’d go to the Jerk Center for some really good Jerk Chicken (if you have no idea what that is, imagine chicken smoked over an open flame with really spicy seasoning – very nice).

But there were two things that typically happened within about 100 yards of the ship. Especially if I was walking alone. First, I would get offered drugs. Second, I would get offered a blowjob. It was pretty consistent (not sure why it was always drugs first, but it always was). You’d actually get offered drugs about five times and sex about two or three times. The whole place is a strange combination of Caribbean beauty and sordidness.

So I can understand someone having a bad feeling about Jamaica. Though it is a very beautiful island. So in this case my wife finally agreed. We’re going to an all-inclusive, kid friendly Ritz in Jamaica. We may never leave the resort.

I really don’t care. I want warm weather, a beach, a pool, some kid friendly stuff to do, some kid friendly food, good service, and some fun tropical drinks (actually I’ll probably mainly drink beer, but you get the idea). As an added plus, my phone doesn’t work in Jamaica. I can’t get email. I’m literally forced to disconnect for a week. I can’t wait.

I’ll probably come back, but no promises…