Visit with my Mom

I took a trip with Danielle to visit my mom, who has Alzheimer’s. This was the first time Danielle and I had traveled just the two of us. She likes to fly and she’s a good traveler.

Danielle had been asking about visiting her Nana and I hadn’t seen my mom in a while so it was time. It’s hard because my mom’s Alzheimer’s is getting worse. When I talk to her on the phone I can’t really tell if she knows who I am.

But the visit was pretty good. They have my mom on some different medication that keeps her much more even. Alzheimer’s patients often have "sundowner’s syndrome" which basically means they get a lot worse in the evening. Mom used to be that way, but she really wasn’t this time. She knew who we were. We went to a children’s museum that we have been to before and Mom pretty much stuck with Danielle (the last time she seemed to be confused about which child she was there with).

But Danielle isn’t really making any connection with her anymore. She was interacting much more with my brother and his wife. I think she sees that her Nana can’t really have a conversation with her anymore.

The amazing thing about talking with my Mom is how good her defense mechanisms are. If you aren’t really paying attention and you didn’t know that she has Alzheimer’s you might think that she was actively engaged in conversation. She says things that make sense and are appropriate. But if you really know what she does and doesn’t remember you realize that she is totally faking it. She has mastered the use of vague terms that hide the fact that she can’t remember.

Occasionally, just to try to understand what she really remembers I will slip into scientist mode and not give her any verbal cues or hints. But I didn’t do that on this visit. I don’t know how many more times Danielle will see her, so I wanted to keep it as light as possible.

So Danielle got to try blue ice cream:

And here’s a picture of my Mom, Danielle and my brother’s wife Diana:

So it was a good, if somewhat sad, visit.