I love the Olympics but…

As I watch the Olympics it reinforces my personal rules about sports:

1. If the costume matters, or makeup is applied, it’s not a sport
2. If you can’t tell who won without a judge (all the time, not once in a while) it’s not a sport
3. If the name has the word “synchronized” in it, it’s not sport

I’m not saying that things that aren’t by my definition sports aren’t important, interesting, worthwhile, etc.. I’m just saying they aren’t sports.

Remember I used to be a trumpet player. Trumpet is a very physical instrument. You have to be in shape, endurance matters, etc. It is as physical as archery, marksmanship, many actual sports. But ultimately the judging of good trumpet playing is artistic. There are high profile trumpet competitions. Lots of pressure. Real money (generally scholarships) on the line. But it’s clearly not a sport.

So I always keep that in mind. My daughter was watching gymnastics and she liked one Chinese girl because she was wearing glitter eye shadow. Sorry, rule number one (and number two, actually). Diving? Rule number two. Synchronized diving? (when did this get added anyway?) Rules number 2 and 3. And while I would normally consider boxing a sport, I have to say no based on rule number 2, particularly amateur boxing where knockouts are rare (and judging suspect).

So I love the swimming. Of course I love the basketball. Volleyball rocks (both beach and regular).  Soccer, excellent. Softball, sure (not sure how international it is, but whatever). Track, of course, totally classic. You get the picture. I find the gymnastics fantastic and amazing, but unless someone wipes out I’m not qualified to decide who did better. Turn the sound off so you can’t listen to the announcers and then try to predict the winners. I think diving is very cool but it’s the same thing. Sure, if they screw up I can tell, but if you showed me video of the gold, silver and bronze winners and asked me to pick which was which, I would get it wrong and so would most people.

If a casual fan can’t tell who won, it’s not a sport.

Doesn’t mean it’s not worth watching, that’s just my definition. And synchronized diving is like synchronized swimming – just goofy.

Go USA basketball…