Author: fish1964

  • Crazy Bad

    OK, this is good developer humor. Someone at the US Embassy in Beijing creates an automated program that takes the air quality readings and tweets it.

    There is an official scale used by the EPA that runs from 0 (good) to 500 (Hazardous), with various levels in between.

    I would be willing to wager that no one specified what the program should do if the index is above 500. And the developer did what I would probably do:

    if (level > 500) return "crazy bad";

    And apparently the level exceeded 500 yesterday so people got an amusing (or scary) tweet.

  • Flower Girl Wedding

    I’m so overdue for blogging. Here’s the recent wedding story.

    We went to Chicago for my niece’s wedding. My daughters were both flower girls. And it was their first wedding. So lots of excitement.

    It was a nice weekend in Chicago (for November). The wedding was downtown. So that afternoon we walked around and ended up by Lake Michigan on the beach. We were pretty much the only ones there, but the girls still loved it.

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    Then it was back to the hotel to get ready.

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    The room where we waited before the wedding had a pool table that for some reason was not in use. My girls changed that.DSC03135

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    The wedding was a nice one and a short one, which was good for the girls. But Danielle was fascinated by the whole thing. Following the ceremony there was a cocktail hour while they switched over the room for the reception. My girls managed to discover this couch which was very slippery. With a running start they could slide on their stomachs the whole way across.

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    Finally there was dancing. The DJ hit a long stretch playing music they both knew so they danced a lot.

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    After a lot of dancing, the DJ played a slow song. This annoyed the girls and Elly and I danced together. By this point Tori was so tired that she literally toppled over on the floor.

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    A really fun night.

  • Busy, Busy, Busy

    Work is busy and life is busy. Origami is selling well (even I can sell Origami – I’m 2-0 on sales calls), our clients are happy and my family is hitting the busy season.

    So far I owe a posting for Halloween (a witch and Princess Tiana for Danielle and Tori, respectively). Danielle’s 8th birthday is tomorrow, but her party is postponed for an extra week because my niece is getting married in Chicago this weekend and the girls are flower girls in the wedding. So wedding this weekend, Danielle’s party next weekend and then Tori turns 4 the weekend after that.

    Oh yeah, my birthday will be completely forgotten somewhere in the middle there.

    Then Thanksgiving and then the crazy holidays. And during this we have to implement a ton of new clients. But that’s a good problem to have.

    So if I’m a bit slow to blog, you’ll understand…

  • Vote

    While this has been a crazy election season, it’s still important to vote. I read this funny quote in the Economist about the hyperbole surrounding the midterm elections:

    It’s as if Crest is telling us that Colgate leads to socialism and Colgate is telling us that Crest leads to plutocracy and all of us believe half of it.

    So filter the craziness, but do vote…

  • Vote for Beer

    http://feeds.wired.com/~r/wired/index/~3/WJW-Eb59qwI/

    You have to love Wired if only for that headline.

    For the record I’m a huge Dogfish Head fan. I’d take the Raison D’etre over the 60 minute, but check out the 90 minute IPA if you can find it. Excellent.

    I’m drinking one right now…

  • With apologies to Dr. Seuss

    To test all the random quirks in IE since most of our clients still use really old versions of IE, I’ve set IE as my default browser for the first time in maybe five years.

    After a day my complaining was already becoming epic and achieving a strange sort of groove. So with apologies in advance, an IE homage to Dr. Seuss:

    That Juan Jose, that Juan Jose
    I do not like that Juan Jose

    You do not like IE today?

    I do not like IE today.
    I do not like it Juan Jose

    Would you like it on a Mac?
    Do you like their standards hack?

    I would not like it on a Mac
    I do not like their standards hack
    I do not like IE today.
    I do not like it Juan Jose

    Would you like your format flipped?
    Do you like its java script?

    I would not like my format flipped
    I do not like its java script
    I would not like it on a Mac
    I do not like their standards hack
    I do not like IE today.
    I do not like it Juan Jose

    Would you like it all alone?
    Would you like it on a phone?

    I would not like it all alone
    I would not like it on a phone
    I would not like my format flipped
    I do not like its java script
    I would not like it on a Mac
    I do not like their standards hack
    I do not like IE today.
    I do not like it Juan Jose

    Would you like it on a pad?
    Does it’s speed still make you sad?

    I do not like it on a pad and
    Yes it’s speed still makes me sad
    I would not like it all alone
    I would not like it on a phone
    I would not like my format flipped
    I do not like its java script
    I would not like it on a Mac
    I do not like their standards hack
    I do not like IE today.
    I do not like it Juan Jose

    Would you like it in the cloud?
    with the volume up real loud?

    I would not like it in the cloud
    or with the volume up real loud
    I do not like it on a pad and
    Yes it’s speed still makes me sad
    I would not like it all alone
    I would not like it on a phone
    I would not like my format flipped
    I do not like its java script
    I would not like it on a Mac
    I do not like their standards hack
    I do not like IE today.
    I do not like it Juan Jose

    You don’t like it so you say
    Try it now and now you may

    Oh so sorry Juan Jose.
    IE still sucks, now go away

  • Rental Car Stupidity

    I’ve been traveling a lot recently and I find myself very annoyed at the car rental counter. It may have something to do with my ZipCar experience.

    You’ve been on a long flight. It’s late, you’re tired. You’re thinking, hotel, quick bite to eat, crash. You get to the car rental counter. There’s a line. But only 2 people, so it shouldn’t be bad. Twenty minutes later it’s your turn. Twenty minutes?

    Why does it take 10 minutes to process a car rental when you’ve already reserved it? It’s absurd. They ask you a million questions that they should’ve gotten online and each thing then has to be entered into their system:

    1. Phone number
    2. Alternate phone number
    3. Drivers license info
    4. Single or multiple drivers
    5. Gas option
    6. Insurance option

    So what should be a quick and easy step becomes a torturous process for a very tired traveler.

    It bugs me more because when I get a car with ZipCar the entire process is:

    1. Reserve the car online
    2. Walk up to car and wave card over ZipCar to unlock.
    3. Drive

    Seems to me that the rental companies could ask all the questions online, print out a piece of paper with your answers on it when you arrive, have you sign, initial, whatever and hand you keys. 2 minutes tops.

    Rental car companies need some technology lessons from ZipCar…

  • Small World

    Sometimes it’s just crazy who you bump into. I just had a hugely amusing encounter with someone I worked at in a previous position. This person is now working for one of our new clients, so we ended up on a conference call together without even knowing it.

    There’s a funny story that goes with it, but I must defer so as to protect the guilty.

    But to me the lesson is, be careful how you treat people, because you will likely see them again.

    And for any STARS folks reading this blog looking for hidden meaning, this isn’t about you. Still good advice though…

  • Cloud Computing

    I read the term "cloudwashing" today for the first time. Apparently the term refers to the latest trend to slap the word "cloud" in front of everything.

    It’s true though, for the most part people do not understand what cloud computing means and sales and marketing folks are doing what they do and filling the understanding void with a bunch of doublespeak. 

    Risk and Insurance magazine does a spotty job discussing technology. Their stab at cloud computing is here and is full of inaccuracies. But this is fundamentally an insurance magazine so I would cut them some slack.

    Oracle, however, is a technology company. So when they totally misuse the term, they get no slack.

    The ZDNet article  about Oracle has a link to the National Institute of Standards and Technology’s definition of cloud computing. They have it right. They list five essential characteristics of cloud computing. If your "private cloud" doesn’t do these five things, your "private cloud" is a regular data center. Note the "rapid elasticity" point. That to me is the most important point.

    On-demand self-service. A consumer can unilaterally provision computing capabilities, such as server time and network storage, as needed automatically without requiring human interaction with each service’s provider.

    Broad network access. Capabilities are available over the network and accessed through standard mechanisms that promote use by heterogeneous thin or thick client platforms (e.g., mobile phones, laptops, and PDAs).

    Resource pooling. The provider’s computing resources are pooled to serve multiple consumers using a multi-tenant model, with different physical and virtual resources dynamically assigned and reassigned according to consumer demand. There is a sense of location independence in that the customer generally has no control or knowledge over the exact location of the provided resources but may be able to specify location at a higher level of abstraction (e.g., country, state, or datacenter). Examples of resources include storage, processing, memory, network bandwidth, and virtual machines.

    Rapid elasticity. Capabilities can be rapidly and elastically provisioned, in some cases automatically, to quickly scale out and rapidly released to quickly scale in. To the consumer, the capabilities available for provisioning often appear to be unlimited and can be purchased in any quantity at any time.

    Measured Service. Cloud systems automatically control and optimize resource use by leveraging a metering capability at some level of abstraction appropriate to the type of service (e.g., storage, processing, bandwidth, and active user accounts). Resource usage can be monitored, controlled, and reported providing transparency for both the provider and consumer of the utilized service.