This has to be a political photographer’s dream…
From a BBC News article:
Israeli newspapers have printed photos of Defense Minister Amir Peretz trying to watch military manoeuvres through binoculars with the lens caps still on.
According to the photographer, Mr Peretz looked through the capped binoculars three times, nodding as Gen Ashkenazi explained what was in view.
He’s the Defense Minister. Surely he’s used binoculars before. Hell, any sports fan who’s had bad seats could figure this out…
If you’ve never seen The Onion, it is a hilarious weekly news satire magazine. For a while a long time ago I lived in Madison, Wisconsin, which is one of the editorial homes of the Onion. It would be distributed free (revenues generated by ads) every Thursday. Like all satire, sometimes it misses, but sometimes it is gold.
Here is a recent one that cracked me up (warning: hilarious bad language, particularly in the photograph). I still laugh out loud when I read this.
After getting no word on my luggage yesterday, today I discovered that they did find it and they put it on last night’s flight. It will get delivered tonight. Imagine my relief.
In my previous post, I forgot to mention the other bad thing that happened at Kennedy airport. At the Jamaica airport we bought some gifts for some friends and of course Danielle wanted something. There was a small version of those wave souvenirs, the plastic things filled with two different color liquids that look like waves when you tilt them.
During the long wait for our luggage, Danielle was half asleep and wanted to be carried. At one point she dropped this wave thing on the floor. So I just picked it up and put it in my back pocket so I could carry her. What I didn’t realize was that it had cracked.
Now I have no idea what they actually fill these things with, but clearly one of the colors has to be something other than water. Hmm, oil and water don’t mix, perhaps it’s oil based. So I’m standing there holding Danielle, when I start to smell something like lighter fluid. I’m thinking that I’m getting a whiff of airplane fuel from outside. But then I realize that my back pocket is wet.
This is officially way too late. At this point my pants are drenched with something that really smells bad. So the hour that I spent waiting to find out that our luggage was lost was a very smelly hour. Thankfully lighter fluid (or whatever it is) dries pretty quickly so at least my pants dried up.
But it took two washings to get the smell out…
There’s a guy in Pennsylvania who owns a restaurant with a big sign out front. Instead of advertising the daily specials, he decided to post his political opinions (kind of a low-tech blog). While I agree with few of the sentiments, this one cracked me up:
2 Presidential Candidates
Each will blow over 125 Mil
For a job that pays 400000 yr
Must have great dental plan
He’s pretty anti-immigrant, which I am not. But this sign is pretty funny:
This is America
Why must we press 1
To proceed in English
It’s kind of like red-neck Haiku.
First of all, I’d like to give Billy Joel credit for proving me wrong and not milking the national anthem. I lost the over/under on length of the song (1 min, 44 seconds) with the Piano Man going slightly under (with a nice rendition).
I won the coin toss bet with heads.
I took the Bears with 7 points and I took the over on total points (48 1/1). I was close on the over/under but I lost both of those. I was rooting for the Colts all the way (Packers fan – hate da Bears).
My pick for longest touchdown play was Bears on a kick return. I won that, but I was thinking more along the lines of a punt, not the first play of the game…
I took the over on total yards for the Colts (374). OK, who didn’t? They covered that after three quarters.
I took the over for Rex Grossman touchdowns plus interceptions (2 1/2). I thought that was a good bet whether he has a great game or a lousy one. I would say lousy, and I won that (1 TD, 2 INT)
I also took the over on total sacks (3 1/2). I lost that with only 2 (though I think when Grossman just fell down that didn’t count as a sack).
I picked Jason Kidd to have more assists than Brian Urlacher would have solo tackles. Kidd had 11, about what I’d expect from mister double-double. Urlacher had 7 so I won that one.
I picked Lebron James to have more points than the Colts. Lebron only had 21 so he let me down a bit. That’s a loss.
And for the one pick that I won’t know for a week, I picked Payton Manning to have more rushing attempts than the Dixie Chicks would win Grammys. Payton had 1.
So I’m 5-5 with one bet pending. Like I said, I’m not a gambler…
OK, I’ll lay it all on the line. Here is every predication I can think of to make. Of course, I’m not a gambler so I won’t be putting any actual money where my mouth is.
On the game, I’ll take the Bears getting 7 points. I think the Colts will win a close one (I always root for a close game, even though it seldom happens).
Over/Under (48 1/2): I’ll take the over. I’m thinking 27-24 or something like that. Vinatieri comes through in the clutch again.
Random bets:
Over/Under on length of time for Billy Joel to sing the national anthem (1 minute, 44 seconds): Definitely go with the over. Performers always over-milk the national anthem. It cracks me up that this is an actual bet.
Coin Toss: I’m going heads
Team to have longest touchdown play: Bears on a kick return
Over/Under on total punts (8 1/2): Under
Over/Under on Total Net Yards by the Colts (374): Over
Over/Under on Total Sacks by both teams (3 1/2): Over
Over/Under on Total TDs plus Interceptions by Rex Grossman (2 1/2): I like this one because Rex is usually either good or horrible so I think you have to go with the over either way.
Who will have more on February 4th? Lebron James total points or Colts total points?: Lebron
Who will have more on February 4th? Brian Urlacher solo tackles or Jason Kidd assists?: Kidd
Dixie Chicks total Grammy wins or Payton Manning rushing attempts?: Manning
“…Has air quality improved so much in New York that we can actually notice an odd smell?”
New Jersey eyed as source of stench
Except that’s not really news, is it?…
Steve Fischer's Random Blog 