Under the assumption that between now and Christmas I’m unlike to post anything, I’d like to wish everyone Happy Holidays and if it applies, a very merry Christmas.
Sometimes in the stress of the season, we forget what it’s all about…
Category: Family
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Victoria is a Citizen
Well it took long enough, but the paperwork finally went through and we had our date in Brooklyn Family Court. Victoria’s name change is official, she is a citizen, she will have a New York birth certificate (or at least the equivalent – if we lose it we contact Albany not Guatemala) and she can get a US Passport. She can’t be president (insert Birther movement joke here) but that’s a lousy job anyway.
The event was quite anti-climactic. With the paperwork done, the court appearance basically consists of the court clerk asking us if that really is our signature on all the documents while the judge looks on.
But it being family court, they allow photographs and the judge gives out lollipops…
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A Great Vacation
I’m a bit late with my vacation update. We got back a week ago but the last week was without child care so we’ve all been a bit busy.
Our vacation was in Cape Cod at the same beach house we rented last year. We shared it with the same couple and Danielle’s best friend joined us as well. With the kids all a year older it was much better. We had:
- Danielle (6 1/2)
- McKenzie (Danielle’s best friend) (6)
- Cooper and Mariee (our friends’ twins) (4 1/2)
- Victoria (2 1/2)
McKenzie’s family was also staying nearby. McKenzie stayed with us four nights and Danielle stayed with them one night. The kids got along great and the weather was spectacular.
We did the usual. Lots of beach. Catching hermit crabs and minnows. Collecting shells. And with the kids a year older, there were are few new items. We did several nice bike rides. And best of all, we had babysitters two nights. Actual adult dinners. Awesome.
So here are the obligatory pictures.
Danielle, Mariee, Cooper and Victoria. There was lots of dancing on our deck…
Danielle and McKenzie
McKenzie, Mariee, Danielle and Cooper.
Victoria, ready to catch hermit crabs.
At low tide, there’s a lot of beach to cover…
Like I said, they got along…
Maybe next year…
Of course there were lobsters…
The obligatory sunset picture.
Everyone had a great time…
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Tori in the pool
Victoria has been getting the typical second child short end of the stick in terms of early swimming. It’s much harder to take both of them, especially if it is just me, so Tori hasn’t been in the pool as much as Danielle had at this age.
Turns out it didn’t really matter.
It started in Milwaukee when we were there for my Mom’s memorial service. I spent a little extra to stay in a hotel with a roof deck pool. I figured the girls would need entertainment and I’d need the distraction. It was a good call. Tori has a swim suit with a floaty built in and she quickly figured out that she could float and move around by herself. So she did. At 2 1/2 Danielle spent most of her pool time with her arms around my neck. Tori would just take off by herself.
Last Saturday the three of us went to our local YMCA which has a very nice pool. Danielle has become such a good swimmer that it’s not as hard for me to watch them both. I can focus on Tori while Danielle happily swims around.
At the YMCA they have those backpack style floaties that just clip around your belly. It took a while to convince Tori to wear one. But she eventually figured out what it’s for and she was off.
She would go to the deep end and just jump in. Didn’t need me to catch her. Went underwater and just popped up happily, swam back to the ladder and did it again. I don’t think Danielle would jump in the pool without me catching her until she was 5.
We’ll be going to the pool a lot…
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Betty Ann Fischer 1933-2009
My mom lost the battle with Alzheimer’s last night. My brother was with her and I had just been there to see her. She was doing well at the new nursing home, but she just went into a decline. She was barely there when I saw her so I said my goodbyes. It was time.
With Alzheimer’s, Mom hadn’t really been Mom for the past couple of years. I really feel like I lost her then. My mom was very active politically and very liberal, so for her to have no idea what was going on in the last presidential race was hard. She lived long enough to see history but wasn’t aware of it.
So I prefer to remember my Mom as she was before Alzheimer’s.
My mom was the one woman in a boy’s household. I have two brothers and we did boy stuff. Camping, canoeing, hiking, sports. The toilet seat was always up. My mom just went with it. When I was little I just assumed that all moms liked doing boy stuff. Only later did I really I appreciate how much she did for the three of us.
Anyone who got to meet my mom would always say the same thing to me. “Your mom is so nice”. And she really was. An old friend of mine always referred to her as “three of the nicest people he even met”. People who knew both my mom and my dad would say to me “when you are being nice, that’s your mom, when you are being a smart-ass, that’s your dad”. Oversimplified, but fairly accurate.
She could even drive you crazy with niceness. I had this conversation with my mom about a thousand times over the course of my life:
“Steve, do you want anything to eat?” “No, Mom, I’m not hungry” “How about some cheese and crackers” “No thanks” “I have Doritos” “No mom, I said I’m not hungry” “Ice cream?” “No thanks” “Grapes?” “Mom…”
My mom could mix in with any crowd. One of my favorite memories was when I was first working as a programmer in NYC. My dad had recently passed away so Mom would come visit by herself. She’d arrive around 4:00, take a cab downtown and meet me at the office. And then she’d go out with me and the work gang. My mom, with a pint of Guinness, hanging out with 20 and 30 year olds. Very cool.
My mom even connected with my wife’s step mother, Indiana. Indiana barely speaks English and my mom barely speaks Spanish, but they still connected.
I remember Danielle visiting her in Milwaukee when Mom was still living by herself (before the Alzheimer’s was bad). Mom would play with her endlessly and Danielle loved it. In hindsight, early Alzheimer’s and a three year old attention span are a pretty good match.
She just had a way of connecting with anyone. That was her most special gift. And she was a great mom. I love her and miss her.
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Quite a weekend
We packed quite a bit into a three day weekend.
Saturday morning started with a couple of promised purchases for Danielle. A friend of ours won a Wii last week and since she already had one she gave it to us. Very nice. Of course it’s the kind of present that costs you money because my wife then wants the WiiFit and we need an extra controller and a Hannah Montana game, but still, a nice gift. So we had promised Danielle that we’d get the stuff Saturday morning.
We also promised that we’d get her a hula hoop (after you’ve promised Wii stuff, the $7 hula hoop seems like the deal of the century). At Danielle’s school, being an urban school, recess is on the roof. They have a nice playground there. And they put out a bunch of hula hoops. This is one of those remarkable things about having kids. The last time I saw Danielle try a hula hoop I think she was four and couldn’t do it. We saw her last week doing it at a friends house. She’s a total expert. She barely looks like she’s moving and she can keep it up for hours. So we promised to buy her one.
OK, a quick trip to Target in the morning (trip being a euphemism since it’s four blocks away). Done.
Next we were going to visit my wife’s sister. This is the traditional holiday get together. But our no car experiment continues. All week I had been trying to pin down my wife on whether we were going Saturday-Sunday or Sunday-Monday. She can’t make a decision.
One of the obvious problems with ZipCar is holiday weekends. The whole thing works on the premise that only a small percentage of people need a car at any given time. On Memorial Day weekend, everyone wants one. So planning ahead is crucial. We did not.
My wife just said, “we’ll take the train”. Now the train is actually pretty convenient to her sister’s. But when we go up there with two kids we tend to bring a lot of stuff. Scooters, stroller, toys, etc. So I was skeptical. But ZipCar was booked, so we had little choice.
We went with maximum minimalism. Change of clothes. Pampers. Three books, two DVDs, cards and snacks for the train, Victoria’s blanket and two stuffed animals that she sleeps with. It all fit in one small suitcase and a backpack.
Oh yeah, we took the hula hoop too.
I’ve never traveled with kids and so little stuff. It was awesome. And the train was great. The train ride from Grand Central to my wife’s sisters is about 10 minutes quicker than the drive. But you have to get to Grand Central and it’s about 15 minutes from the train station to their house. So overall about 30 minutes slower.
We took a taxi to Grand Central. It’s Memorial Day weekend so everyone has cleared out of the city. No traffic, we’re there in 10 minutes. So early, we get some snacks for the girls. And drinks for us. We show Danielle the “whispering gallery” in Grand Central which she, of course, thinks is the coolest thing ever.
Then we get on the train and head up. I’m sitting with Danielle and my wife is with Victoria. I play a few games of cards with Danielle and then she watches out the window for a while and then she says she’s tired and lays down with her head in my lap. Normally I’d be fighting traffic. Instead I’m relaxing on the train, drinking a beer, with my daughter napping on my lap. I’m starting to like the train.
Of course a visit to my wife’s sisters would not be complete without a soccer tournament. Matthew (15) was playing on Sunday at one of those soccer fields that can only happen out in the ‘burbs. Six huge gorgeous soccer fields, nice facilities, even a playground for the kids. Matt’s team won 1-0 and the girls had fun at the playground (the finals would be the next day after we left – in the championship game Matt took a cleat to the head. 34 stitches. But they won).
We took the train back Sunday around 5:00. Again, very pleasant. The ride goes right down the Hudson and is quite pretty.
Monday was Wii day. I set it up in the morning and played with Danielle. Thankfully she likes the sports games more than the Hannah Montana one.
But it was a gorgeous day, so we weren’t staying inside. I took the girls to our favorite park. The sprinkler were on and they ran wild. We had Italian ices and capped off the day with an early dinner at a Mexican place that we like and is kid friendly.
Then home for a bit more Wii.
Overall an excellent weekend.
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Bad Zip Car, great weekend
Well, I guess it was inevitable. We had our first negative experience with Zip Car last weekend. But we still had a great weekend.
The weekend started early with parent/teacher conferences on Friday. Of course, it’s just kindergarten so let’s not get carried away here, but it’s really nice to hear teachers say wonderful things about your daughter. And since our conference was at 4:00 we asked our nanny to work late so we could do (gasp) an early dinner and a movie. Truth be told, we don’t get out that much.
There’s a new place near us that we wanted to try. It was a beautiful day so we sat outside. The food was great and so were the drinks. (My wife had The Fair Harbor and I had the Ommegang Witte – tasty)
We saw State of Play which was good, not great. But for someone who hasn’t been to the movies in ages, just relaxing with the popcorn was worth it.
The next day we were visiting my wife’s sister. But we had also agreed to take Danielle’s best friend while her mother was doing an all day class. It was another great day. We went to the park in the morning and Danielle had her swim class after lunch.
Have I mentioned who her new swim teacher is? You can look him up here or here (Anthony Ervin). Really, an Olympic gold medal winner teaching 6 year olds is serious overkill, but he’s really nice and good with the kids.
To look at him you wouldn’t guess how good he once was. Yes, he’s tall and thin with 0% body fat (and tattoos covering both arms). He’s a bit geeky looking. When you get close you notice the huge feet. And teaching in the pool you can’t tell. Except for one time when he was out of the pool and the three kids were doing the backstroke. They weren’t supposed to go all the way to the other end of the pool but they did and once they started they couldn’t hear him. So he walks about halfway down the pool, does kind of a sideways dive into the water and about a split second later he emerges at the other end of the pool. OK, he’s still fast.
After swimming we we going to my wife’s sisters. We had the Zip Car reserved for 4:30. When I left swimming I had a voicemail from Zip Car. The person who had the car before me wasn’t going to be back until 6:00. Well that sucks. I called them to see if there were any other cars available. The first totally gorgeous weekend of the year. Any guesses? No cars. So we’re basically stuck. It was very annoying, though in truth it didn’t really impact our weekend overall. Funny how an hour and a half can seem like a disaster at first and be a non-event later.
Apparently Zip Car has a pretty emphatic no tolerance policy on lateness. The other driver will get fine $50 for every hour she was late (would be nice if the inconvenienced party got some of that…).
We got up to my wife’s sisters place a bit late, but the girls napped on the way so they were ready to go. Everyone played and had a great time. We played the next morning had lunch and headed back. And since Danielle’s friend’s mother wasn’t going to finish her class until 6:00 on Sunday, we did a picnic in the park.
There’s a park in Brooklyn tucked in between the Brooklyn Bridge and the Manhattan Bridge called Empire-Fulton Ferry State Park. It’s a great little park, and will eventually be park of a much bigger park. It’s also very close to one of the best pizza places around (at least according to Zagat’s). You can count on standing outside in line for at least a half an hour to get a table. But they take pick up orders. So 45 minutes ahead of time, I call them. Then later I just walk from the park, skip the line, pick up my pizza (really annoying the 30 people waiting in line) and walk back to the park.
A delicious end to an awesome weekend.
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Great Parenting Moment
I was walking home after taking Danielle to school. Close to home I see our nanny, Maggie. It’s a beautiful morning so she’s talking Victoria and her daughter Mia to the park. Mia (3) is in the stroller but Tori (2) is a walker so she’s walking next to the stroller.
About a half block away Victoria notices me. She waves, looks at Maggie and then takes off running to me. She comes at a full sprint, runs to me, jumps in my arms and gives me the biggest hug on the planet.
What more is there?
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Alzheimer care matters
I’ve mentioned before that my mom has Alzheimer’s. A while back she really started to decline. She was losing weight and my mom is tiny to begin with. They put her on hospice care, which meant that they expected her to last no more than six months.
A little while later, the facility where she is staying decided to raise her fees substantially. They said that she required a lot of extra care (she likes to wander off and she gets belligerent when you try to bring her back).
There was another Alzheimer’s place nearer to my brother. It had a very good reputation, but was very expensive. My mom has a decent pension between her and my dad (who passed away years ago), but she’s not swimming in money either. But with the first place raising their fee, the difference in cost wasn’t as big. And being closer to my brother would make it much more convenient.
So we moved her to the nicer place. Since then she has gained ten pounds. One time she introduced my brother to someone and used his correct name. I can’t remember the last time she did that.
So it clearly matters what kind of care an Alzheimer’s patient gets. They are now saying that they’ll probably take her off of hospice care.
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Orlando Cheap
We’re watching our money (who isn’t?) but with Danielle off for two weeks we wanted to do something. My wife’s brother lives in Orlando so that seemed like the thing to do.
We got cheap flights, planned to stay with my wife’s brother for a few days and at a hotel near Disney for a few days.
Spending a few days with the in-laws was pleasantly relaxing. We didn’t do a lot. They have a pool (not heated, a tad chilly), and a park nearby. They also have a pond in the back where you can fish. That’s about all we needed.
And of course the girls had a blast at Disney. Danielle has hit roller coaster height so she rode Space Mountain at the Magic Kingdom and Tower of Terror and Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster at Disney Hollywood. She loved them. So I’m excited to have someone to ride cool rides with. Victoria was surprisingly timid on the kiddie rides, but she’s only 2 so I’ll cut her some slack.
Her are the obligatory pictures:
This one is out of focus, but I had to include it anyway. Tori with her sister’s iPod shuffle:
Danielle climbing in the park. All she does is climb…
Catching a fish with her uncle:
At the Magic Kingdom with Alice in Wonderland:
With their new tattoos (Danielle has Hannah Montana sunglasses and a Hannah Montana tattoo):
At Mickey’s Toontime playground (Tori is small but tough, she will win this confrontation):
Dan just climbs…
And finally here’s Danielle at the Honey I Shrunk the Kids playground:
We did ride rides, honest. But you can’t take good pictures on them…
Steve Fischer's Random Blog 