Category: Family

Normally this would be a post about March Madness. But my wife’s father passed away last Sunday, so I haven’t been paying much attention. I did my picks for my pool without much thought at all (and it shows in the standings). At least my team Indiana beat Gonzaga in the first round (and I bet a lot of people picked Gonzaga).

My wife’s father was Abuelo to our daughter Danielle (abuelo is Spanish for grandfather, if you didn’t know). His death was hard for a number of reasons. Obviously it is hard on my wife. And this is the first loss that our daughter has experienced (other than a goldfish). What do you tell her? When do you tell her?

Thankfully four year olds have a very short attention span. We were going to take her for ice cream before we told her that Abuelo was in heaven. She cried and talked about how much she would miss him. And then while she’s crying in her mother’s arms, she looks up and says “can we go get ice cream now?”. Ah, to be four again.

He had a very full life. We got to celebrate his 90th birthday a week before he died, so that will always be a good memory. And at least Danielle got to know him, if only briefly. We have lots of pictures of the two of them together.

This is Abuelo with some of his grandchildren last Christmas (Danielle is on the right). We will miss him.

Here’s a story that will sound familiar to any parent.

On Saturday, Danielle had a birthday party to go to at a local gymnastics place. They do good parties, the kids run around a lot and have a good time. And since Danielle just learned to swim we took her to the YMCA (which is next door) for some swimming right afterwards.

So gymnastics followed by swimming. Then we get her dressed, she gets in her stroller because she’s tired and sure enough she falls right asleep.

A mid-afternoon nap on a Saturday is a rare event. We know we’ll pay for it later, but any parent knows you must seize the opportunity. So we go for an early dinner. An adult meal, conversation, drinks the whole deal. What luxury. OK, fine, it’s 4:00 in the afternoon, so hardly optimal. But you take what you can get.

So we’re finishing some sushi, sake (for my wife) and beer (for me) and Danielle starts to wake up. What’s the first thing she does? Throws up. Right in the restaurant (which is thankfully empty other than us – who eats at 4:00?). It turns out there’s a bug going around in Danielle’s school (and all her schoolmates were at the party). So she basically pukes the rest of the day. But it’s a brief bug and she’s ok the next day. She even makes it to another birthday party the next day (it’s apparently birthday season in her school).

It seems to me that this captures parenting in a nutshell. Plenty of kid-type fun in the parties, very occasional adult fun whenever you can sneak it in, and the occasional puke. And despite the puke, the whole thing is a blast…

OK, I’m a little excited. Historically we have tried to do a warm vacation each winter, but last year it just didn’t happen. Our last beach vacation was two years ago at a Beaches in Turks and Caicos. That was very nice, but it’s been too long.

And our timing is great It’s been really cold (OK Chicago folks, I know it’s been much colder there) so I’m dying for some warm weather. Though our timing is scary in one sense. There’s a big storm coming the night before we leave. I’m hoping we don’t get stuck in the airport waiting for our plane to take off.

We didn’t get to plan much, so we just went on some friends recommendations. We’ll be at the Ritz in Jamaica. My wife has never wanted to go to Jamaica. And I can understand this feeling. Back in my previous life I worked on cruise ships and we often stopped in Ocho Rios. There were two things I liked to do in Ocho Rios. Either I’d see if I could get on the snorkeling excursion (cruise ship staff could go on the official excursions for free if there was an open spot) or I’d go to the Jerk Center for some really good Jerk Chicken (if you have no idea what that is, imagine chicken smoked over an open flame with really spicy seasoning – very nice).

But there were two things that typically happened within about 100 yards of the ship. Especially if I was walking alone. First, I would get offered drugs. Second, I would get offered a blowjob. It was pretty consistent (not sure why it was always drugs first, but it always was). You’d actually get offered drugs about five times and sex about two or three times. The whole place is a strange combination of Caribbean beauty and sordidness.

So I can understand someone having a bad feeling about Jamaica. Though it is a very beautiful island. So in this case my wife finally agreed. We’re going to an all-inclusive, kid friendly Ritz in Jamaica. We may never leave the resort.

I really don’t care. I want warm weather, a beach, a pool, some kid friendly stuff to do, some kid friendly food, good service, and some fun tropical drinks (actually I’ll probably mainly drink beer, but you get the idea). As an added plus, my phone doesn’t work in Jamaica. I can’t get email. I’m literally forced to disconnect for a week. I can’t wait.

I’ll probably come back, but no promises…