Category: Victoria

  • The Quasi-Cursed Vacation

    It wasn’t really cursed. For the most part it was very nice. But there were enough crazy things to wonder.

    The first issue, as reported previously, was trying to get the proper documentation so that Victoria could re-enter the country. With our Congressman’s help her green card arrived on Monday for a Wednesday departure. That is cutting it too close.

    Also on Monday, Danielle and I got sick. Danielle was sick enough to stay home from school and I should have stayed home from work (but there’s always so much to wrap up before a vacation). We were both better on Tuesday so everything seemed ok to go.

    My wife got most everything packed Monday night. That is because she was going to work very late Tuesday night. She does this before every vacation, in part because she’s a procrastinator and in part, I think, because she hates to fly and wants to be really tired so she can sleep on the plane.

    So I’m home with the girls Tuesday night. I get the last few things packed. Victoria is asleep. I’m trying to get Danielle to sleep. She has a total coughing attack. Danielle has some mild asthma and occasionally a cold can morph into a nasty asthma cough. This looked to be one of those times. So I have her under the nebulizer breathing the asthma medicine. She’s upset, her throat hurts, I’m wondering if this trip is a good idea. Finally she gets to sleep. Eventually my wife comes home and we decide to go through with it. The warm moist air of the Caribbean should help her anyway.

    We get up in the morning very early to get to our flight. Danielle is doing better and is being very helpful. It’s looking good. The car service takes us to Kennedy Airport. We check our bags. We were worried that the big one would be overweight. 50.7 pounds. Overweight but they let it slide. Things are looking up.

    We start heading to the gate. We have a stroller that we will check at the gate. There are a couple of places at Kennedy where you have to go down an escalator and then back up. So we’re taking the elevator.

    It stops between floors.

    My wife is not calm. We’re pressing the alarm button and the guy is asking us what elevator we are in. We have no clue, there’s no identifying number on it. Danielle is starting to get nervous. The guy says they’ll send someone. We need to get to our plane. My panicking wife is now telling Danielle not to panic. Very effective.

    The elevator starts up again.

    So we make our flight. It is uneventful. The girls do pretty good. We get to the Dominican Republic and get on the bus to the hotel. When we get there we are looking for the “Royal Service” check-in. This is like the concierge level with a few perks. We paid a little extra for this. But the place is totally disorganized. The “Royal Service” takes about four times longer than the regular check-in. This is after a long flight and the girls have basically eaten nothing. Everyone is getting cranky. We finally get to the room. It’s a bit on the small side for four people. Nothing is looking very Royal.

    We’re in between lunch and dinner so we go by the pool to get some food. It’s not great and Danielle is fighting it. Did I mention that everyone was cranky? We basically get through the night with no major meltdowns and that had to be declared a success.

    Then the vacation got good. The pool was great. There was a separate pool for the Royal Service rooms that wasn’t so crowded. Happiness is going to the swim up bar with your five year old. We were in the pool a lot.

    There was a kids’ club. For the most part Danielle just played with us, but one day she went and got to climb on these amazing rope bridges and also got to ride a horse. Victoria had fun in the pool as well.

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    We did the beach, we swam, I drank a lot of Presidente beer. It was always 5:00 somewhere. The weather was great. Occasionally it would rain, but if you waited five minutes it would be over. It was beautiful.

    Then on Saturday we get a call from our travel agent. “Did American call you?” “No” “You’re flight got canceled, they put you on the same flight the next day”. Now this is a problem. I wouldn’t mind staying another day, but this hotel is completely booked. We can’t extend a day. Our travel agent talks about trying to get us into a different hotel. But the thought of packing, moving, unpacking and repacking for just one day seems crazy. He mentions another flight that will connect through Miami on our original travel day. It gets in around 2:00 am. With two small children that just isn’t going to work.

    We finally conclude that leaving a day early is the only sensible alternative. We’ve had a lot of sun and swimming. Danielle misses her friends. One more day would have been nice, but a reasonable travel schedule also is nice.

    So our quasi-cursed vacation ends a day early. The trip home was uneventful which is all you can ask. And I get a day at home before I go back in to work. Which isn’t bad either.

    OK, not so cursed…

  • Victoria’s walking, but not out of the country

    Victoria has really started walking. She’s come a long way from being really developmentally behind to being pretty much a normal 14 month old. We had a friend over this weekend with her 15 month old twins. They were walking, but other than that all three of them looked about the same. Victoria is walking and climbing and in general getting into everything. Be careful what you wish for.

    But we’re not so sure about going on vacation out of the country. We have a trip planned for the Dominican Republic. We are in the process of getting Victoria full citizenship and a U.S. Passport but that takes a while. Right now she has Permanent Residence status.

    But they mailed her green card to our old address. That type of mail can’t be forwarded. So we didn’t get it. She came into the country on an IR-4 Visa. That lasts six month which means it expired about a week ago. So while she has legal status, in terms of the actual paperwork we have in our hands, she has a valid Guatemalan passport and an expired Visa.

    So we could go to the Dominican Republic, but Victoria couldn’t come back. Not so good.

    We talked to Immigration and they’ll resend the green card. In a month or so. Not so good.

    Finally, the lawyer we are working with to make her a full citizen (the process is called re-adoption) suggested that we call our congressman. We had to do this once before during the adoption when some paperwork got stuck in the process. I called our congressman’s office and I talked to the same guy and he thinks we can pull this off. If he does, I will owe him big time.

    It’s no wonder that everyone hates Congress, but loves their congressman…

  • Victoria Update

    I haven’t posted any pictures of Victoria lately. She is doing very well. She’s taking a few steps and in general has been catching up very well in her early development. And her big sister is still being the best big sister around.

    Here’s a Christmas morning picture of Danielle pushing Victoria

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    Here’s Victoria with her cousin Michael:

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    And with her Titi (that would be Aunt for us non Spanish speakers). I think that’s my wife’s hat.

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    She’s doing great.

  • Happy Halloween

    It was a good Halloween. We had perfect weather for trick or treating.

    Danielle was Ariel the Mermaid (but when she has legs, because it’s hard to trick or treat with a tail).

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    And Victoria was a pumpkin (yes, a hand me down costume).

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  • Still a Yankee fan

    OK, so she doesn’t even know they lost in the first round. But my daughter is still a Yankee fan…

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  • Early Intervention Program

    With an international adoption, our pediatrician recommended the New York Early Intervention Program. I had never heard of it. Victoria has that thing that some babies have where their head tends to tilt to one side (there’s a real name for it, but I can’t remember it). It generally means that the tendons on one side are tight and need some therapy. Not a big deal, but something that should be addressed early.

    This is one of the many things that the Early Intervention Program is for. In New York City, this is an absolutely free program. They will evaluate your child and determine if he/she is eligible for services. Today we had an occupational therapist, and physical therapist and a speech therapist evaluating Victoria. The speech therapist indicated that Victoria was “age appropriate” so nothing needs to be done. The other therapists gave us some exercises to help work and stretch certain muscles. In her foster home, Victoria probably spent a lot of time lying on her back.

    Following all the evaluations (we have one more next Tuesday) we will get a full recommendation. It sounds likely that a physical therapist will come to our place twice a week for 30 minutes to work with Victoria. We’ll know after the final evaluations next week.

    Again, this is all free. Well, not exactly free because NY is a high tax state. But what a great service. Identifying young children (they work with birth to age three) to help early when it makes the most impact.

  • A hard day

    We’ve moved directly from adoption mode to moving mode. There’s a lot to do. We gave our nanny this week off as a vacation week, since my wife and I knew that we’d both be home. Plus we are going to Newport, RI, Thursday through Sunday (it’s jazz fest weekend) so it seemed like a good week to give her off.

    In hindsight it may not have been the smartest move. Did I mention there’s a lot to do?

    Danielle has been spending a ton of time lately with her friend Cordelia. They are truly best friends. So on Monday she actually stayed with Cordelia while we went to our storage place to get the last of the baby stuff that we needed. That was very handy.

    Today we were hoping to do the same. I needed to wait at our new place for the cable guy (four hour window: 10 – 2) and my wife was meeting with a decorator to help figure out what to do with our new place.

    I would have never considered a decorator until we got this place. I love the space, but the main living/dining area is just a huge rectangle. The rooms aren’t really delineated. It’s the classic blank piece of paper problem. What do you do? There are too many options. So given that my wife and I both had things going on, Danielle being with her best friend would be very helpful.

    But this morning New York got hit with major rain storms, flooding and tornados (well, at least one tornado, which is very unusual for New York City). Every subway line was affected. So Cordelia’s nanny couldn’t get to work and all plans went haywire.

    In the morning, the new plan was to get Victoria to take a nap, I’d go to the new place and wait for the cable guy and my wife would be with Danielle and wait for the decorator. Only Danielle decides she wants to be with me.

    Let’s consider this decision. Going to our new place and waiting for the cable guy. Following the rain storm, we are having the hottest, most humid day of the year. We haven’t installed air conditioning in our new place yet. There’s no furniture, toys, food, TV (at least until the cable guy gets there). So why exactly does she want to go with me? Because she’s four.

    So I grab a couple toys, a small soccer ball, a couple snacks and my laptop (need to be able to test the cable modem). Danielle is surprising good in a very boring situation. We play some soccer in the apartment (hey, no furniture, you have to take advantage). I’m able to pirate some WiFi, so we play some computer games (nickjr.com – mainly Blues Clues). I order a pizza for lunch. I brought some Play Doh so she plays with that.

    Did I mention that it’s really hot? We are both drenched with sweat (maybe soccer wasn’t such a good idea).

    The cable guy finally gets there. That’s good because once he’s finished we have TV. The decorator has already arrived at our old place (to see our existing furniture) and is on her way over to the new place with my wife and Victoria.

    She needs both me and my wife for various decisions. OK, let’s recall. I’m a guy. I want the place to look nice, but I’d be perfectly happy for my wife to decide and inform me what is happening. Frankly I’d pay extra to be left out of it. My wife knows this. She’d like me to be a part of it, but when Danielle starts to get restless (she’s now been in this apartment for about five hours) she tells Danielle that she can leave with me.

    Now Danielle wants to stay with her Mom.

    Honestly, my daughter is just making crazy decisions. She wants me when that means going to the hot boring place and she wants my wife when it means staying longer at the hot boring place. But there’s no arguing with a four year old. Well, that’s not true. There’s actually lots of arguing with a four year old. It just isn’t very logical.

    Finally Danielle decides to leave with me. We go back to our nice cool place. At this point I’m hot, tired and irritable. I take Victoria as well so I can feed her while my wife finishes up with the decorator.

    I get Danielle some dinner and I start to feed Victoria. She’s just starting solids, so this can be an adventure but she’s been doing pretty well with it. Not tonight. She doesn’t want to open her mouth, she’s not keeping food in her mouth, finally she does a nice huge spit up all over her clothes. I’m just not happy at this point.

    I come out of the bathroom where I’ve disrobed Victoria and cleaned her up and Danielle comes over to me. “Papi, I have something for you” she says. And she gives me a big hug. “That’s because you’re having a hard day”.

    No matter how bad your day is, when your four year old gives you a hug to cheer you up, life is good.

  • Adopt an 8 month old

    Seriously, this is the perfect age for adopting. You are going through so much craziness, international travel, etc. But 8 months is a relatively easy age.

    She’s not mobile yet. She can roll over, but you can pretty much put her in one place and not worry. She’s not overly fragile. She’s sleeping pretty well (last two nights she slept through the night).

    Maybe we just got lucky and maybe it’s because she’s our second so we know the drill, but this is a good age to start with.

    And she’s a very happy baby…

    Laughing

  • The Adoption Saga

    OK, here’s the full story of our trip. This will be a long blog.

    We start out early on Thursday morning, flying to Guatemala City via Houston. The flights aren’t bad, though we sat for an hour on the runway in Houston waiting out a storm. We arrive in Guatemala around 12:30 local time. We gained two hours because Guatemala doesn’t observe Daylight Savings Time.

    The airport was very interesting. They are doing major renovations and it looks like it will ultimately be pretty nice. They are billing it as soon to be the best airport in Central America. Maybe it will be. But for now it means that due to construction there is only one exit. Everyone is herded (the only appropriate verb) through this very narrow gauntlet. It’s literally about six feet wide, with taxi drivers, family, vendors, whatever on the other side of a fence. So if one person stops to tie their shoelace, the whole procession is halted. And this one exit leads to one street where every bus, taxi, shuttle, etc. must drive by. So it’s just total chaos. Welcome to Guatemala.

    Eventually the van for our hotel arrives and we get there. The hotel is nice. We call the person from our agency and she says they’ll be over in an hour with the baby. Meanwhile, all Danielle wants to do is go to the pool.

    So an hour later, the foster mother and the person from our agency show up with our baby. She looks good. Not as skinny as we thought from the pictures. She goes to my wife with no issues. She sits on my lap and I give her a bottle while Danielle also sits on my lap.

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    My wife spends about 20 minutes talking with the foster mother in Spanish to get all of her likes, dislikes, habits, etc. Then the foster mother gives her a kiss, cries and they leave. The whole thing was less than half an hour. It kind of felt like, “here’s your baby. See ya.”

    But Victoria was totally fine. I really thought that she would be freaking out, being held and taken care of by total strangers. But she had zero issues. She’s a happy, sweet baby. Honestly, Danielle will be the one making the bigger adjustment. She’s very happy with Victoria, but going from being an only child to having a baby sister is a big change for her.

    We did discover one interesting fact that we didn’t know before. We were under the impression that the birth mother was simply a poor single woman who couldn’t keep her baby. That isn’t the case. The birth mother is married with five children. The problem was that her husband is not Victoria’s father. A Guatemalan soap opera. Apparently she couldn’t keep the baby and keep her marriage going. So sometime down the road Victoria may be very curious about her siblings.

    Next we had to wait for our driver/facilitator to come to the hotel to go over the forms we needed for the embassy appointment the next day. At this point we couldn’t keep Danielle from the pool so we went for a swim while we waited for Hugo. He went over our paperwork by the pool.

    Hugo was going to pick us up the next day around 7:45 for our 8:00 embassy appointment. So we ordered some room service and tried to get some rest, since we were all exhausted from traveling. There was just one problem. Victoria (Tori, as I shall henceforth be calling her) apparently goes to sleep at 10:00, with the TV on. 10:00 feels like midnight to us given the time change. So this was a challenge. Our first task with Tori will be getting her on a better schedule (and no TV to fall asleep).

    The next morning we are ready to go. We’ve been warned that you can’t take much into the embassy, so we’re traveling light. We’re waiting for Hugo. And waiting. At this point I started to think that perhaps Guatemala was one of those countries where nothing happens exactly on time. Hugo shows up at 8:05. We’re probably at the embassy and through security by around 8:30. I now see why being exactly on time isn’t that important.

    This isn’t an “appointment”, it’s a mob. There are about 80 families in the embassy looking to adopt a baby. I am not exaggerating. It might have been more. There were two jam packed rooms. Hugo took our paperwork (and fees) to one window and told us to wait, then we’d be called to window 10 and then to either window 8 or 9. We’re at window 10 about an hour later. A woman asks us a few questions and tells us to wait. About 45 minutes later we’re called to window 8. A different woman asks us to raise our right hands and swear that we will be telling the truth (she was amused that Danielle did it as well). She asks a few more questions, says we’re approved and we can pick up the Visa on Monday after 3:30. That’s it.

    So now it’s about noon on Friday and we have nothing to do until Monday afternoon. Actually Hugo is going to pick up the Visa for us, so all we have to do is be at the hotel. And we’ve basically been told to be very careful walking around because we are obvious targets and to definitely not walk anywhere at night. So what do we do for the next few days?

    The pool.

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    Really, that was about it. Danielle loved the pool. My wife would take care of Victoria, bring her down to the pool some, and I would be in the pool with Danielle, trying not to fry my skin. I think an earlier blog posting mentioned the weather forecast calling for rain every day. Thankfully that wasn’t even close. It was 80 and mostly sunny every day. But the funniest part about being at the pool was that it was adoption central. At any given moment there were a half dozen adopting families at the pool. Some families were just there for a visit and some were like us finalizing the adoption. And we stayed at the one of the two recommended hotels that was supposedly “low key” in terms of adoptive families. The other hotel was supposedly even more filled with adopting families.

    So you meet people very easily. It’s perfectly obvious that you have something in common. Two American parents with a Guatemalan kid. Hmm, what do you think is going on? And Danielle wanted to meet every baby so we got to meet many families going through the same thing we were going through.

    We did do a tour of Antigua one day, which was the Spanish capital way back when. It has since been destroyed by volcanoes and earthquakes so there are only a few really old things to see. Hugo took us and two other adopting families. As tours go it was fairly touristy, but it did get us out of the hotel for a day.

    The adoption demographic was interesting to me. I originally thought it would be mainly childless couples, but that isn’t the case. We actually fit the demographic very nicely. We saw mostly older couples, with one or more children. I suppose that makes sense. International adoption isn’t cheap, so an older more financially secure couple makes more sense.

    I mentioned in my previous post that I would have an update on Spanish Wiggles (if you are not familiar with the Wiggles, skip this paragraph). The hotel had decent TV channels, but almost all in Spanish. We had Playhouse Disney, Discovery Kids, Nick, etc. For the most part they just dub Spanish voices over the regular show. But not the Wiggles. The Wiggles is apparently an international franchise. They have all the same characters and the four Wiggles have the yellow, blue, red and purple shirts. But they aren’t Greg, Anthony, Murray and Jeff. As my daughter put it, “Jeff is a girl”. No, there’s no cross dressing here, there are just four different people. True Wiggles fans will recall Fernando and little Fernando, who sang Mexican songs. Little Fernando has grown up and is the yellow shirt Wiggle.

    So on Monday we get the Visa. Tuesday super early (we wake everyone up at 4:00 am) we leave for home. We are so ready to go at this point. The pool was nice, but taking care of two kids in a hotel room gets old. Going to the airport in the morning is a lot easier than arriving. Much less chaos.

    The flights are good. Danielle sleeps on the first one, but not Victoria. In Houston we have to go through immigration. This is the big deal. You go through the regular US citizen line and then they take you to the interview room. There you wait for a while. We hadn’t taken this into account when we planned our itinerary. We had a fairly tight connection. As we waited we started to get the feeling that we were going to miss our flight.

    Finally we are called for our interview. It consisted of, “ok, you’re fine. She’s a US citizen at this point, but you have to go to immigration and fill out a form. Good luck.”

    So we’re off and running to our flight. We still have to get our bags, clear customs, recheck our bags, go through security and get to the gate. We have 30 minutes. But everything goes fast. We’re flying through security. There’s only one problem. I have a money clip that also holds credit cards. It has metal in it. So I always remove my money and put the clip in a bin to go through security. In my haste I forget to collect it. We make it to the plane, get to our seats and I realize what has happened.

    Too late to go get it. Damn, I’m screwed. Driver’s license, credit cards, etc. all gone. What a pain. Then just before they close the airplane door, someone walks on the plane, “Is there a Stephen Fischer here?”. They found it, saw the driver’s license, checked what flight I was on and got it to me in time. Totally incredible.

    So that was the final story in our grand saga. Tori is doing well. Her sleeping at night is a bit erratic, but otherwise she is a sweet, happy baby. Life is good.

    Here’s a link to more pictures

  • Adoption Complete

    I’ll post a longer blog tomorrow. We’re exhausted after traveling all day. Victoria Dallas Fischer is home and is a US citizen (pending some minor paperwork). Everything went great and she’s doing really well.

    There’s lots to tell about the entire process, including an update on Spanish Wiggles. But I’ll save that for tomorrow or the next day. For now I’ll leave you with some pictures.

    Victoria:

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    Danielle with Victoria:

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    Watching the Wiggles together:

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