Thankfully, the National Weather Service is announcing that their technology has advanced enough to support lower case letters.
Category: Crazy
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Wisconsin Nice
For political junkies, Decision Desk HQ is a site to check out. Their twitter feed is also interesting because they send out their own exit poll folks.
They seem to be enjoying the Wisconsin primary:
And they have a sense of humor:
Not sure if they know this, but the guys who created the movie Airplane grew up in Wisconsin…
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Top 10 Bank Lobbyist Rebuttals to Fiduciary Standard
Yeah, I know, I’m just putting fiduciary in the title as click-bait.
From Alpha Architect:
1) This new standard will limit investors’ choice of retirement options.
“This new standard will definitely limit my choice of yachts.”
2) Investors will “go it alone” and screw up their asset allocation.
“My Wolf of Wall Street theme party will have a totally inadequate seafood buffet.”
3) Rather than provide advice, advisors will sit on their hands for fear of legal reprisals associated with a fiduciary standard.
“Shhh. Don’t tell anyone there is a robust independent advisor ecosystem already available in the economy.”
4) New, innovative products will not be introduced to the marketplace.
“New, highly profitable, poor performing products will not be introduced to the marketplace.”
5) It’s not about the price you pay, but rather, the value you receive.
“It’s not about the price they pay, it’s about the soft dollars, revenue shares, and kickbacks we receive.”
6) Our legislative partners stand ready to protect investors and the middle class.
“We have taken every Congressman out for a lovely steak dinner and we will continue to do so.”
7) We have the best facilities in the world to provide cutting edge research and leading market insights.
“We pay the highest rent in Manhattan and hired a bunch of busted PhD students who can write fancy equations.”
8) Our robust RIA network fully leverages our economies of scale to provide superior service.
“We send our RIAs canned reports and shoddy back office services and charge them 50% of their revenues.”
9) We have been in the business for centuries.
“We have been exploiting clients for centuries.”
10) Our clients see the value we provide. They understand that we are well worth the price.
“Please don’t go to Vanguard. Please don’t go to Vanguard. Please don’t go to Vanguard.”
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Back Page Bladder Jokes
If you don’t follow baseball, you might have missed the story where Matt Harvey, the Mets #1 pitcher, recently had a bit of a medical scare with a bladder infection causing a blood clot.
Harvey told the press that he regularly holds his pee too long and that was part of the problem. He is now upset because the NY sports press found that funny.
Honestly, what did he expect? The NY Daily News and the NY Post had a field day. This is exactly what tabloid cover pages are for.
The NY Post came up with so many jokes they showed alternate covers:
Amusingly, both the Daily News and the Post went with “Ya Gotta Relieve”, though I like the Post’s “Bladder up” line:
Sorry Matt. Yes, it was a serious health issue that grown ups should treat seriously. But this is NY, those are the tabloids, and there’s nothing grown up about the back page…
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Best Inbox Ever
Regular readers know I’m a big fan of Wait But Why. I just started his latest post and he has a screenshot of his gmail inbox. You obviously have to fake something like that. This is a really excellent job of faking it. There’s even a Brooklyn joke…
Click the image to make it bigger and actually read…
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Tweets from North Korea
This looks like the official North Korean government twitter account, but it must be a parody. It’s hilarious.
And the very best one…
The Onion has nothing on this.
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11 Year Old Hole in One
This is at Tiger Woods’ first golf course. Sure, it’s a very short par 3, but an 11 year old hits a hole in one right in front of Tiger Woods…
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No Interest for 12 Months
We recently bought a new sofa. We had the money for it, but they offered no interest for 12 months. Why wouldn’t you do that? So we did.
I was assuming with interest rates still super low, this is a promotion to encourage sales. Ha, silly me.
It’s a nice couch, so a little over a grand. We added a nice table so all total almost two grand. I get the first bill and the payment is $54.
I actually like math, so this leaped out at me. At that rate we would not only not pay it off in the interest free 12 months, we wouldn’t pay it off in 24 months. And the web site not only gave no indication of that fact, it makes paying something other than the minimum rather difficult.
So that’s the scam. Offer no interest but set it up so that most folks won’t notice that it’s going on for years and you will end up paying a healthy chunk of interest. Nice.
I was about to just pay the whole thing off, but on reflection I will make sure to pay over the full twelve months and backload the final payment.
Because I actually like math…
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El Chapo May Be Tried Artisanally in Brooklyn
I stumbled across this article and couldn’t stop chuckling. Not sure if the tongue in cheek Brooklyn references are funny to non Brooklyn folks.
The larger-than-life narcotics trafficker was captured in January in Sinaloa state but faces indictment in several U.S. jurisdictions including New York’s Eastern District for selling heroin and cocaine that were not sustainably sourced.
Legal experts say that obstacles to obtaining a conviction will include “the difficulty of proving Guzmán’s personal culpability in crimes actually carried out by others” and “all the strollers on the sidewalks.”
Steve Fischer's Random Blog 